Piggysnoot

Note to the waitress we had for lunch today: Your tip sucked because you did. You managed to get the drink refills…but left the empty glasses. You managed to get our food out in a decent amount of time…but the time it took you to bring three desserts was equal to the amount of time it took me to deliver Nora. In fact, I might have delivered Nora in less time than it took you to bring the dessert. We would have cancelled the dessert orders…had you shown your face within 45 miles of our table. The time it took you to bring our checks was closer to the amount of time it takes to paint a house. Supposedly it was due to the fact that you had to split them. However, I’ve been to restaurants before…splitting checks is pretty common. Not sure what the hold up was with that. My guess? You were using an abacus. Which you first had to locate in a nearby antiques shoppe. My bill was $9.92. I considered rounding it to an even ten so that it would be easier to remember. Plus I thought it would be a total pain in the ass for your establishment to take an eight cent tip off of a credit card. I also thought it would make a nice blog post for you…if you have a blog. I can see the title now…One Time This Bitch Left Me an Eight Cent Tip. To save you that embarrassment (and blogging material) I left none. I don’t usually do that. I’m generally pretty understanding. But, really…the service was that bad.