Piggysnoot

I have found something that Nora excels at. I know, she’s barely four weeks old…I’m sure you’re wondering what on Earth a tiny baby can be so excellent at…so fantastic, in fact that I’d venture to say she’s the best baby on the planet at this one thing she does so well. What is her special skill, you ask?! Why, pooping while she has her diaper off, of course. Not only does she poopie while her diaper is off…she gets distance. I’m sure you read the WalMart poop episode, right? The very next day Larry was changing Nora’s diaper in our bedroom. She was laying on our bed…on a waterproof changing pad, thankfully. This situation was much like the previous times (at least four thus far) that she’s pooped while diaper-less…except that she shot the poop so far that it got on the edge of her Pack ‘N Play. Please understand that this is easily three feet from where her butt was. Not only did she shoot poop onto the Pack ‘N Play…but she shot poop all over Larry, too. The worst part is that it’s so surprising when she does it. She doesn’t grunt. Her face doesn’t get red. She’s simply laying there, content as can be. The next thing you know there’s poop everywhere and you’re standing there with your jaw on the floor like, “Um…excuse me? Where exactly did this fecal matter come from?!” Once Larry recovered from his immediate shock he handed the situation off to me to finish diapering Nora so he could scrub himself with Lava soap and a Brillo pad. I think that if “Sneak Attack Projectile Pooping While Diaper-less” was an Olympic sport, I’d be grooming the USA’s next gold medalist.