Husbands can be so sweet, can’t they? This morning while I was brushing my teeth, Larry was standing behind me in the hallway when he happily proclaimed the following:
“You know, sweetheart, you haven’t gained any weight in your ass at all.”
Apparently from behind I don’t look pregnant…I’m carrying Baby Girl Long all out front…which my Grandma said to me yesterday…and is basically what Larry said this morning…but there’s something to be said for telling a 33-week pregnant woman that her butt is the same size as it was before. Perhaps he should be forgiven for comparing me to a lactating horse…
The last few days and nights have become a little uncomfortable. I’ve had a gloriously easy pregnancy thus far, so believe me, I’m not complaining…too much. I have been having this pain in my groin area that I’ve determined is stretching ligaments and such. I’ve determined this through the use of the internet and various websites…scientific, I know. Apparently my pelvis is preparing itself for the birth, and my ligaments are stretching to accommodate my increased weight. It’s not all that bad…except for when I walk…and stand up…and roll over in bed…at least it’s not all the time! This morning before getting up for the day Larry asked how I was feeling and I told him, simply, “hurting“. He suggested I stay home and rest…but the problem with that, I told him, is that I can only be comfortable laying down for so long. In the sweetest voice ever he said, “I’ll build you a comfortable bed of pillows and blankets so you’re comfortable all day lying in bed.” How completely wonderful of him, huh? Fast forward ten minutes to when I am trying to roll, ever so gracefully, out of bed to get ready for work…this is the point at which he offered to get a crane to get me out of bed. Note to husbands of pregnant women: offering to get a crane to help her out of bed, while I know you’re just trying to help, isn’t all that helpful.
On to the really funny part of this morning’s exchange. Note: for those of you who don’t know, I work for my family…my grandparents own a business where I do the bookkeeping. When telling me to call off of work and stay home to be comfortable in my bed of pillows and blankets, Larry explained how simple it would be…and he did so in a way that only he can. It went like this:
“All you have to do is call your grandpa and say, ‘Grandpa, I have this pain in my vagina…’ You won’t even have to finish your sentence…he doesn’t want to hear about vaginas…he’ll be like ‘Courtney, don’t say another word…just stay home…’”
Well, Dear, for the record the pain is in my groin (bikini line) and hip area…not my vagina…I’m pretty sure that pain occurs during the actual labor and delivery. At any rate, all I could think when he suggested this course of action was, “Sure, Sweetheart, I’ll just call my 72 year old grandpa to inform him about my groin pain…I see that happening…in fact, while I have him on the phone perhaps I could bring up my leaky breasts…“
Yesterday I removed my belly button ring…that I got when I was 16 years old. This was necessary mostly because my belly button is beginning to turn inside out. This is the first “I’m going to be a Mommy” change I’ve had to make. I don’t mind all that much since I wasn’t exactly a lingerie model with a cute little tummy to begin with. It has been with me for over 9 years though. I kept it so that when I’m telling our child how she’s indebted to me since I carried and birthed her I could add to the guilt trip with a “oh yeah, and…I had to remove my belly button ring“.
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