Piggysnoot

Disclaimer: Grandma, (and others who don’t want to read about my underwear and/or leaky breasts) you may want to skip this post…or if you don’t skip it…consider yourself fully informed of the content…

Two of my favorite topics. Two topics I never would have thought I’d write about on a public blog…my underwear…and leaky breasts. First, the underwear…maternity underwear to be exact. I have to tell you…I freaking love maternity underwear. No one told me how comfortable they are. I held out and didn’t even buy any until I was 28 weeks along. Next time I’ll start wearing them as soon as I find out I’m pregnant…if I even quit wearing them in between. I feel like maternity underwear are the best kept secret in preggo clothes…therefore I feel that it is my duty to devote some time to talking about them. If any of my readers are pregnant or become pregnant…and no one has told you about the beauty of maternity underwear…let it be known that I am instructing you to purchase them…lots of them…and don’t ever run out so that you have to wear a pair of your old ones…trust me…you appreciate the comfort of nice underwear when you have to wear non-maternity underwear when you’re 32 weeks pregnant….trust me…

On to the leaky breasts. This morning I noticed some spottage on my t-shirt that I slept in…okay Larry noticed…amazing isn’t it? I had something on my shirt…in the breast area…and Larry managed to be the one to see it first…he’s so observant. Neither of us are all that sure of what the mystery substance is…until I go to get in the shower. I saw a little leakage in my nipple area…and deduced that the mystery substance was some kind of pre-baby nipple leakage. I admit, I was a little excited…that means the time is winding down until we get to meet our little one. I told Larry that I had figured out what was going on…and being the ever so helpful husband, he said things like:

“That means the baby is coming early…horses start to leak milk two days before they give birth.”

[Thanks...thanks for comparing me to a horse...]

“They started being drippy because you were playing with them…weren’t you?”

[Yes, dear, all women play with their nipples...but usually we do it together...while we're making out...just like in every man's wildest dreams...]

“You need to quit playing with them…you’ll run out of colostrum.”

[Okay first of all, what male on the planet knows what colostrum is? Second of all, I'm not exactly planning on showing off my new 'trick' to everyone I know...]

And my favorite comment from this morning:

“That’s why men don’t have the babies…I’d have my boobies out all day…showing everybody that I can squirt milk.”

Yes, that, among many other reasons are the reasons men don’t have the babies…