Piggysnoot

Yesterday Mom and I went shopping in search of maternity jeans. First stop was Old Navy where I found one pair on sale for $17.99…and since they’re having a huge denim sale I got a $5 off of a future purchase gift card. I tried explaining to Larry that that means it’s like I only paid $12.99 for my jeans…he said it doesn’t work that way…that I already paid the $17.99 for them…blah blah blah. Next stop was Gabriel Brothers…or Gabe’s as it’s sometimes called. For those of you unfamiliar with Gabe’s it’s kinda like an indoor garage sale…they have things they’ve bought from other stores and they sell them super cheap. Sometimes the stuff they have is the “irregular” items that the real stores couldn’t sell. Most times if something’s marked irregular it’s because it has a hole in it…that’s why I didn’t buy the “irregular” three pack of panties for $1.99. I don’t want to know where said hole would be…or which leg got accidentally sewn shut. I did end up getting a jacket that was originally $21.99 and the Gabe’s price was $3.99. Also coming home with me were the Steve Madden crocheted shoes…which will be featured in a future post because there’s a longer story where they are concerned.

While you can find some super deals at Gabe’s, you also have to understand that, much like a garage sale, there is junk to be found there as well. The other issue I have with Gabe’s is that there is no air conditioning. Do you know how humid it was in Northern Ohio yesterday?! Holy crap it was hot in there. We’re talking t-shirt-soaked-sweat-on-your-brow HOT in there. But we stayed…because…well they have deals. Halfway through the Gabe’s trip I had to go to the bathroom. Let me tell you…this is the nastiest of nasty bathrooms I’ve ever seen…and I’ve been in bathrooms at gas stations and race tracks…this was worse. But any of you who have been pregnant before know that when a preggo woman has to pee…she has to pee. So after arranging my toilet paper barrier between myself and the seat…and still deciding it safer to hover…I was privy to the following conversation, in the neighboring stall, between a mom and her daughter of no more than three or four.

Mom: Hurry up! I gotta pee too!

Mom: Are you done yet?!

Little Girl: (timidly) Hold on…I going poopie.

Mom: Come on now! (exasperatedly) Quit! We don’t have time for that. Get up…we have to go. (equally exasperatedly)

Really. It makes me wonder what exactly this woman does or where she had to be that she didn’t have time to let her child poop. I gotta think that no matter how important you are…or how late you are getting somewhere…you could simply say, “Sorry I’m late…my daughter had to use the bathroom.” Like wherever she had to be was more important than having the poor girl take five minutes to poop. I wonder how she would’ve liked it if the child had pooped her pants…now that would’ve taken way more time to clean up than just letting her go in the toilet.

Dear Baby,

I promise that no matter how busy, or late, we are…I will always let you poop.

Love,
Mommy