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1) When your grandmother, who is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s, asks “Where are we going?“…”crazy” is never ever ever the right answer.
2) When the same grandmother says, “Look at all this water” as we’re about to cross the Edison Bridge…the proper response is not, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s why they put a bridge here.”
Why do they even let me leave the house?
Yesterday Mom and I went shopping in search of maternity jeans. First stop was Old Navy where I found one pair on sale for $17.99…and since they’re having a huge denim sale I got a $5 off of a future purchase gift card. I tried explaining to Larry that that means it’s like I only paid $12.99 for my jeans…he said it doesn’t work that way…that I already paid the $17.99 for them…blah blah blah. Next stop was Gabriel Brothers…or Gabe’s as it’s sometimes called. For those of you unfamiliar with Gabe’s it’s kinda like an indoor garage sale…they have things they’ve bought from other stores and they sell them super cheap. Sometimes the stuff they have is the “irregular” items that the real stores couldn’t sell. Most times if something’s marked irregular it’s because it has a hole in it…that’s why I didn’t buy the “irregular” three pack of panties for $1.99. I don’t want to know where said hole would be…or which leg got accidentally sewn shut. I did end up getting a jacket that was originally $21.99 and the Gabe’s price was $3.99. Also coming home with me were the Steve Madden crocheted shoes…which will be featured in a future post because there’s a longer story where they are concerned.
While you can find some super deals at Gabe’s, you also have to understand that, much like a garage sale, there is junk to be found there as well. The other issue I have with Gabe’s is that there is no air conditioning. Do you know how humid it was in Northern Ohio yesterday?! Holy crap it was hot in there. We’re talking t-shirt-soaked-sweat-on-your-brow HOT in there. But we stayed…because…well they have deals. Halfway through the Gabe’s trip I had to go to the bathroom. Let me tell you…this is the nastiest of nasty bathrooms I’ve ever seen…and I’ve been in bathrooms at gas stations and race tracks…this was worse. But any of you who have been pregnant before know that when a preggo woman has to pee…she has to pee. So after arranging my toilet paper barrier between myself and the seat…and still deciding it safer to hover…I was privy to the following conversation, in the neighboring stall, between a mom and her daughter of no more than three or four.
Mom: Hurry up! I gotta pee too!
Mom: Are you done yet?!
Little Girl: (timidly) Hold on…I going poopie.
Mom: Come on now! (exasperatedly) Quit! We don’t have time for that. Get up…we have to go. (equally exasperatedly)
Really. It makes me wonder what exactly this woman does or where she had to be that she didn’t have time to let her child poop. I gotta think that no matter how important you are…or how late you are getting somewhere…you could simply say, “Sorry I’m late…my daughter had to use the bathroom.” Like wherever she had to be was more important than having the poor girl take five minutes to poop. I wonder how she would’ve liked it if the child had pooped her pants…now that would’ve taken way more time to clean up than just letting her go in the toilet.
Dear Baby,
I promise that no matter how busy, or late, we are…I will always let you poop.
Love,
Mommy
boy…or a girl…Baby wouldn’t cooperate at the ultrasound yesterday so we’re still unsure of what we’re having. The ultrasound was really cool…she showed us the beating heart, the kidneys, the abdomen, head, legs, arms, etc. The only thing she couldn’t show us are its “goods”. The doctor said if he had to guess he’d place it about 85% girl because he didn’t “see anything to indicate a boy“…but frankly the way the baby’s knees were glued shut, and the legs crossed and underneath its butt…he “didn’t see overwhelming evidence either way“. So basically we were advised to keep all receipts for anything pink…and I’m extra super glad we did the nursery neutral! We’ve talked and decided we’re not going to get anything in pink because the doctor and US technician were both so wishy washy about the sex. I’m thinking having to return stuff in the middle of January with a two week old baby doesn’t sound all that thrilling! We did find out that Baby is measuring right on schedule for its due date, and things are in the correct proportions. The tech and the doctor both said that things look great and that barring any suspected problems that would require another ultrasound, we’ll just have to wait another 18 weeks to find out if we’re having a he or a she. I was a tad disappointed we couldn’t find out…but on the other hand I’m not all that surprised either. I’m not known for being the most patient person in the world, (okay I know that was an understatement…but you don’t have to laugh) and I figure this is just the way it goes. We’re overjoyed to know that things are progressing as expected and looking like we’re on schedule for the Christmas Eve due date.
The last picture looks like Baby was waving to us, I thought. And I love the shot of the baby sucking its thumb (the second picture)…it’s so cute and awesome…but the one where it looks like Baby is giving us the finger (the first picture) is my favorite. I think it was like “oh yeah Mom…you want to know what I am? Take this middle finger, bitch.” Yeah, well…it is a child of mine and Larry’s…so I can’t say I’m surprised.
I know it’s been forever since I’ve uploaded new stuff. I’ve been busy spending my time being impatient about my upcoming ultrasound! Actually, we’ve been pretty busy since the start of the Stampin’ Up! year in July and have only had time to prepare for parties! Also…one of us…me…signed us up for a 115 card demo swap…so that’s kept us busy in our down time. I’m happy to report that the swap is done and scheduled to be mailed to the hostess on Monday. The following are samples from a workshop I did this weekend…along with the stamps, cardstock, and inks used.
Stamps: Whimsical Alphabet, A Greeting For All Reasons
Cardstock: Garden Green, Rose Red, Ballet Blue, Vanilla
Ink: Garden Green, Rose Red, Ballet Blue
Accessories: Chocolate Chip Grosgrain, Silver Brads
Stamps: Circus Train, Birthday Best
Cardstock: Always Artichoke, Bravo Burgundy, Vintage Violet, Confetti Natural
Ink: Black, White Craft Pad
Accessories: Pewter Hodgepodge Hardware
Stamps: Celebrate In Style
Cardstock: Pretty in Pink, Certainly Celery, Barely Banana, Bashful Blue, Whisper White
Ink: Black, Pretty in Pink
Accessories: 1.5″ Punch, Stitched Bashful Blue Ribbon, Pink Brad (even though the scan makes it look not-pink)
Stamps: Riveting
Cardstock: Cranberry Crisp, Merigold, Certainly Celery, Whisper White
Ink: Cranberry Crisp, Summer Sun
Accessories: Pewter Hodgepodge Hardware, Hemp Twine, Paper Piercing Tools
Stamps: Time With You
Cardstock: Summer Sun, Green Galore, Real Red, Brilliant Blue, Vanilla
Ink: Black
Accessories: Brilliant Blue Button, Linen Thread
Stamps: All I Have Seen
Cardstock: Creamy Caramel, Elegant Eggplant, Really Rust, Mellow Moss, Whisper White
Ink: Versamark, Elegant Eggplant
Accessories: Elegant Eggplant Grosgrain, Staples, Silver Brad, Stampin’ Pastels (chalks)
“I can’t believe the doctor can’t tell you the sex of the baby by now…the way he’s gotta jam his hand all in there and stuff.”
Um…for the record…’person who said this’…not only is it so wrong that you said this to me…what you’re implying is impossible. And…I don’t know what the heck kind of doctor you went to, but my doctor doesn’t exactly root around in there like a homeless guy looking for change in a payphone. Furthermore, when a doctor does pelvic exams (which isn’t even until closer to delivery)…they aren’t touching the baby. It’s impossible for them to touch the baby and go, “uh, Courtney…I feel a penis…it’s a boy.” Which is why I don’t believe you when you say that the doctor asked you if you wanted to know the sex when you were pregnant. Again, I don’t know what the heck kind of doctor you went to…but if he implied that he could feel around in there and know if you were having a boy or girl…I’d like to sell him some ocean front property in Kansas…because that doctor is a moron. In closing, I’d like to thank you for the laugh. And I apologize for writing about it on my blog…but I thought everyone else could use a laugh, too.
Writer’s Note: Person Who Said This To Me is not my husband. I didn’t want you guys to think he’s clueless or anything!
This weekend my mom and I started and finished the nursery! It was two long days of work…moreso for my mom…but it looks so cute! We painted on Saturday…with Kilz brand paint from WalMart. Let me tell you for one second how freaking cool that stuff is. If you recall (or if not)…the baby’s room was previously my stamp room…painted a deep rosey reddish color. A color that would be impossible to paint over in one coat, right?! Wrong. We did this beautiful green color (called Rosemary)…overtop of the rosey reddish color…in one coat! And it was only $20 a gallon…whatever Sherwin Williams…I don’t need your $39 per gallon paint…I can use WalMart paint for $20! Anyhow, the paint covered in one coat, per the guarantee. This enabled us to do the wallpaper and border on Sunday. I keep going in there…just to look at how damn cute it is! Plus a small part of me wants to enjoy the fact that the room still smells good…and not like vomit and poop…come on all of you moms…you know babies are stinky…even yours. Okay, without further delay…the finished photos:
This one is from the hallway so it’s not the best lighting, but it really shows the completeness of the room. I was thinking about getting Pooh curtains but decided that I like the simplicity of the white sheers. It really ties together the white from the border. Looks adorable!
A closer look at the finished product.
The wallpaper has several different Winnie the Pooh scenes. This one is one of my favorites. It is so stinking cute!
The view of the corner…another shot at the “whole picture” of the room.
I hope little baby Whatever (what we’re calling him or her for now) will enjoy the room half as much as I have already. Now I have to get going on refinishing the cushions of my great grandma’s rocking chair so that it’ll match the room. I feel like I’m totally ready to get this show on the road…and I’m only half way!
Today’s posting is short. It’s actually a revisiting of a previous Confidential story. Remember the Reckless Grandmother at the post office? If not, you can read the story here.
Think of today as an update of sorts. Today, again at the post office, I saw this lady…with Ben…her charming grandson. (Note: ‘charming’ in the previous sentence should be read dripping with the most sarcasm you can possibly muster.) Well, I have to tell you, the update on their situation is short…she’s still an irresponsible imbicile. Turns out Ben won’t just come over and stand nicely next to her…even if she calls his name a half a million times. I guess one has to be a little more hands-on and actually go retrieve the child instead of calling, “Ben, come over here. It’s our turn. Ben it’s our turn. Ben come here. It is our turn, Ben.” As soon as I saw her grandparenting tactics I immediately remembered, quite vividly that I had posted about her before. It’s nice to know that almost 7 months later things haven’t changed one bit. At least little Ben has some consistency, right?!
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