Piggysnoot

Last night Larry and I went to dinner with the family. Not the mob…we live in Ohio. We went with Mom, Dad, and my grandparents (Dad’s parents). Grandpa is 82 and Grandma is 80. We went to the newly opened Olive Garden nearby. The dinner was relatively uneventful…except for the fact that Larry kept asking me for more ‘fredsticks’ instead of breadsticks. The real enjoyment came when the bill arrived. All 6 of us were on one bill…and Grandpa snatched it up. Mom and Dad were both asking how much theirs was when Grandpa advised them that he would be paying the bill. He then looked…quite seriously…at my Grandma…and the following conversation ensued.

Him: Where’s your purse?

Her: I didn’t bring it.

Him: You didn’t bring your purse?

Her: Well, no.

(Keep in mind that at this point we all thought he was serious…that he didn’t have enough money and was expecting her to help pay since he had offered to buy…it quickly became apparent that he was teasing…)

Him: You…asshole.

(This was said in a hostile whisper…much like Napolean Dynamite exclaimed “Idiots”.)

Him: You did that on purpose, didn’t you? To stick me with the bill.

It’s been a long time since I thought that I was going to wet my pants from laughing so hard…but I’m telling you…you haven’t seen funny until your 82 year old Grandpa has called your Grandma an asshole. This is the stuff legends are made of. I can see us, twenty years from now, exclaiming, “You remember that time that Grandpa called Grandma an asshole?” And I think we’ll laugh just as hard as we did last night!